I Did Something Stupid

I did something stupid, but I can't remember
I did something dumb, but I can hardly recall

I had a few drinks, I was leaning on things
I had a few drinks, but did I stumble and fall?
What did I do, why can't I remember?
What did I do, why can't I recall?

I said I had quit, so imagine how much
I was frustrated to recall, I puffed on a butt
At least I didn't say, something dumb something stupid
By making proclamations By Eros! By Cupid!

I said to myself "Be confident, Be true"
Just open up, you know she'll like you
So we started to talk, we started to dance
I said to myself "Here's your big chance!"
"Open your heart give it a try"
I reached for my heart, but opened my fly

How did I do it, I knew I was done
Her jaw dropped open, she started to run
That was so stupid
Why am I so dumb?

Why did I do that, I should have just kissed her
I blew that shot, but there's always her sister


Yes it's fictional, but it's strangely believable isn't it? Amazing what you come up with in the shower after a night of beverages.

Hair afire,
Eyes aglow...

What the hell ever compelled me to compose those words? Then again, to my old self's defense, in my ignorant state of being at that time I felt like I meant the whole thing. In the years since I've come to learn how little I knew. Did I have an epiphany? Was there some traumatic event in my life? Nope and nope, I just got older and wiser, experience goes a long way. It's just silly (or stupid, but I'm trying to be nice... see previous post) to always think that the person you're dating is the "One". That goes doubly if you and/or your respective other are let's say... younger than 22. Add 3 if you live in NYC. Subtract 3 if you're Mormon. Don't bother giving me examples of how I'm wrong, these are just rules of thumb. Good ones at that if I may say so myself. Hmm, time to work on modesty.

The funniest thing about it, writing sappy poetry that is, is that it seems like everyone else under the sun does it, and reading someone else's work is usually nauseating at best. Just as a general public service announcement, let it be known that your sappy poetry sucks... don't publish it! In a few instances I'll be wrong but I think the odds are with me. Please don't take this the wrong way, if you have to write it, if your muse is calling you, the stars are aligned and you always have butterflies in your stomach, go for it, write to your heart's content. Just don't publish!

I know there are people out there who disagree and most likely their arguments are either that if I find it so appalling I shouldn't read it or something about First Amendment rights. Don't get me wrong, it's no legal violation... just a violation of common sense and decency. I'm just trying to help, but feel free to do what you have to do. Plus, all things told, you're better off writing something a little bitter and edgy, then adding music. You'll have people crawling over you, literally and figuratively, when you strike it rich with your hot new single. Me? I'll stick to letting Barry White and Old Blue Eyes do my talking.

It's amazing how often we simply accept ourselves as who we are, how complacent we are about our inadequacies. Perhaps inadequacies is a bit too strong, but we all clearly have significant room for improvement. It just doesn't seem as if many people out there really put in that much effort to change themselves. Is this perhaps a symptom of a society which all too often accepts sub-par so as not to hurt feelings or jeopardize the status quo or is this evidence that I haven't done an adequate job curbing my critical nature?

How often do we make promises we don't keep? How often do we make mistakes we know better than to make? How often do we forget those who are important to us? These aren't questions I can answer, just questions I feel should be posed. Who'd have thought that when your parents asked "what happened to the other 1%?" when you came home with a near perfect test score that there would be that much truth in it? The funny thing is that academia isn't the most important realm for continued development, though not a bad place to start. It is, however, the easiest to identify mistakes and indicate room for improvement.

Now, what's the point in all this? Maybe I've spotted weaknesses in others... maybe I've spotted more weaknesses than I care to admit in myself, or maybe I'm just sick of being let down. By myself, friends, coworkers... people in general. Is this a personal crusade for the betterment of mankind? If you'd like to call it that, go for it, but it's more accurate to say that this is the overly-critical ramblings of a guy who just can't keep his mouth shut. But hey, who ever said I was perfect?